Sunday, December 25, 2011

My Christmas Wish

May those of you feeling pain or sorrow, are down and out, are hungry, lonely or restless, today, of all days, feel a quilt patched with peace and love wrapped around you.

You are loved.

Merry Christmas.

Amen.

To privately contact me send message to susiewithans@gmail.com

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Cloak of Confusion

I am messed up.

I don’t know how to pray.

In fact I am not convinced I even grasp the definition of prayer.

Is it an action? A thought? An attitude? Perhaps all of the above?

The concept of prayer is a force so powerful, I tremble at just the thought of entering the question.

Conclusion eludes me, but after stepping into the quicksand only to cowardly grasp a tree branch of complacency and tiredly hover above, I have glimpsed my previous error of not.

I am sufficiently sure it is not the act of compiling a wish list of consumeristic wants to a Santa-Jesus.

I am sufficiently sure it is not a self-focused attitude of desire. (Unless that desire is to change the selfishness.)

I am sufficiently sure it is not about requesting convenience.

I am convinced that not all pain will disappear even with the most earnest appeal to God. A cloak of confusion surrounds me even as I type those words, bringing me back to the futile question of why?

But while temporarily immersing my feet in the dirt, I have also glimpsed possibility.

The possibility that prayer is all about the heart, about character and about love.

Still feeling at a deficit when it comes to understanding, all I can do is free my soul to cry out, “Please change me.”

For now, that is the best I can do, as I (pray) for courage to let go of the branch and re-enter the consuming question.

 “Prayer is not asking. Prayer is putting oneself in the hands of God, at His disposition, and listening to His voice in the depth of our hearts.”
Mother Teresa


Amen.


To privately contact me send message to susiewithans@gmail.com

Monday, December 19, 2011

A Question of Pain

Life equals pain.

And joy and love and hate and thrill and boredom and fear and excitement and story.

Story definitely includes pain.

It seems everywhere I turn, people are hurting.

Explanation as to the reasons for suffering have been thrown carelessly around, often adding yet another thorn or two, digging into the already raw wound life has produced.

I don’t understand.

I don’t understand why pain is so prevalent, but even more so, I don’t understand why people find the need to use inadequate word in effort to explicate the question of why, when simply reaching out a loving hand would impart an immeasurable extent of help.

When we must endure hardship, the question of why is a valid one. As long as we accept the reality that it will probably go unanswered.

But when others must bear a heavy load, action speaks louder than reason.  Perhaps we should concern ourselves more with when rather than get stuck in the why.

Everyone is involved in a story - a gritty, rubber-hits-the-road kind of story. Do we wish to enter into the story of our neighbour (who perhaps hides the scars of abuse from the hand of their spouse), the harried mother waiting in line at the grocery store (who perhaps secretly struggles with addiction), the stranger standing on a street corner begging for change (who perhaps gave up when his son was killed by a drunk driver)? Will we listen as we step onto the page and offer to walk alongside in the messy mire of mud? Or will we become an unintelligible and ineffective “hero”, devastatingly altering the story with the added baggage of explanation and opinion?   

I’m here to say this: Let’s join together in the story - in the joy and love and yes, in the pain. And rather than trying to explain it away, let’s love it away, because as strong as pain can be, absolute pure love will always trump it.

It is up to us to make that happen.

Us.

You and me.


Amen.


To privately contact me send message to susiewithans@gmail.com

Friday, December 16, 2011

Paradox

“I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts there can be no more hurt, only more love.”

– Mother Teresa



Amen.






To privately contact me send message to susiewithans@gmail.com

Thursday, December 15, 2011

"Don't Give Undeserved Grace"


While listening to a podcast in my car recently, a comment was made by the interviewee that caused my heart to leak tears into my soul, turning it crimson. In reference to parenting, the man stated, “Sometimes parents shouldn’t give undeserved grace.”
It is of no importance to me if these words were thrown into the air in regards to parenting, or any other facet of relationship. I just can’t be of same mind.
As far as I am concerned, the very definition of grace defies the possibility of it being “deserved”. I suppose there are people who are kind, forgiving, giving and have a large capacity to love, but those are the easy ones to mirror those qualities back to. To be gracious in its truest form, offering it to the “unlovables”, is to generously extend the proverbial olive branch to its fullest value - even if the cost is great.

With the risk of sounding contradictory, to decide who deserves grace is easy.

 None of us.

 All of us.

None of us.

To quote the great Philosopher Jesus, “Let him without sin throw the first stone.” And one by one they turned and walked away.  
Life is not without consequence. And neither should it be.

But even consequence can be delivered with an attitude of grace.
I beg you, please join me in this awkward manoeuvring of thought, reshuffling our biases and predispositions to help us all experience a peaceful existence within humanity.

Amen.     

To privately contact me send message to susiewithans@gmail.com

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Secrets

Have you hear about Post Secret? A man named Frank Warren contrived a genius idea years ago. He had come to realise that so many people are carrying around secrets and have no avenue to set them free. He opened a post office box where people could anonymously send in their personally designed postcards with their secret written on them. They could tell someone, even if no one knew it was them doing the telling. A safe place. He then compiled them, publishing them in book form and on line.
Some of the postcards were as simple and humorous as "I peed in the pool" and some as profound as "I'm scared to tell you that I'm scared. Are you scared too?" or "I'm afraid that deep down I am truly unworthy of another person's love" or "I love one of my children". Themes of sexual abuse, feeling unloved or unaccepted, doubt and violent acts fill the pages.
I see overwhelming pain.
But there are postcards with themes of hope and freedom and humour sprinkled through the heart-wrenching designs of suffering. Some people do break free. Even with the simple act of sending their card. One person wrote this:
"Dear Frank, After I created my postcard, I didn't want to be the person with the secret any longer. I ripped up my postcard and I decided to start making some changes in my life." I call that progress. I call that hope.
This summer I had the opportunity to allow a group of teenagers and young adults (some who I knew personally and some I didn't)  to design postcards and anonymously put them in a box. I am the only one who has ever seen them.
Except for one.
It simply said this: "You believed in me before I even believed in myself. Thank you."
That one I framed and have displayed in my kitchen. Every time I go to the fridge I see it sitting there on its shelf and it inspires me.
 I didn't know who wrote it but it didn't matter. A young life now believes in themselves because someone, just someone like me, believed in them first.
Wow. I didn't realise the impact that I, a flawed and selfish being could have on a young life. As honoured as I am, that thought scares me to death. (And to life!) It begs me to ask myself, how do I want to live my life? Since we influence others continually, knowingly or not - positively or negatively, what impact will I choose to make? Will I believe in others, even if they are hard to love? Or are making poor choices? Are living their life to a different standard than I have chosen for myself? Have  a different belief system that I do?  Can I learn from them, even if they are fumbling through life as I stumble on?
That young life who wrote this most inspiring sentence which pierced my heart, spreading fear and joy into my veins like a poisonous love potion that will never leave, gave me a huge honour by revealing their identity to me in recent weeks.
Now, whenever I see that beautiful young woman, I am inspired not only by what she designed on that little 4" x 6" card, but by her heart, her voice, her life and her smile. I am reminded that people are what matters. People are what matters.
So my wish for this day is twofold: First, that you would have the courage to be free. Free from you secrets. Send a postcard to www.postsecret.com, throw the words into the air as you shout it out loud into the sky on top of a hill with your arms spread wide, or tell a trusted loved one who will accept you unconditionally. Snap its chains.
Second, I wish you will be inspired to change lives. To be examples of what humanity can be, if we choose love, forgiveness, grace and hope.

Amen.

To privately contact me send message to susiewithans@gmail.com

Monday, December 12, 2011

Life is Like a Window...

“Life is like a window. When on the inside looking out, all you see is possibility. Those with fear latch it shut and continue to stare but even if it is stuck, those with courage break through the glass willing to get scraped up and bleed a little, to gain all that is on the outside.”
The beginning of this quote started out as a joke amongst some friends and I. The assignment was to find a quote that would define their life. My husband and I thought it helpful to throw in our two cents. I threw the words “Life is like a window...” into the air and left them hanging as if profoundly wise. My friend settled on a finished quote as the basis for her assignment but my thoughts were already in motion.

My mind fixated on the challenge of filling in the blank as if my heart would threaten to stop pumping if not given the answer. Blind spots blocked the words, taunting me every time my mind’s eye searched for resolution and focus. Finally, the concept unfolded, giving me rest.
That is, until, I realized I fiercely protect myself from the shards of glass which will provide the possibility for a healthy bleed. A healthy bleed you ask? Yes, a healthy bleed.

This loss will give way to gain, causing my heart to beat faster, harder, irony twisting to make me more alive.
My heart demands I break the window as my mind hesitates, trapping me temporarily within.

I pray my heart conquers letting me be, rather than just see.
Amen.


To privately contact me please send messages to susiewithans@gmail.com


Sunday, December 11, 2011

Introduction

I can't help it. My mind spins and whirls with questions about life as I know it. The hows and whys fight for attention even at the oddest of moments. If I am honest, the question of "Why?" usually wins the battle. Unfortunately, answers don't often even enter the ring.
Even more fascinating to me is life as others know it. And  how can we merge our selfish perspective with God and people to colour the painting entitled "Life"? I have a feeling if we move side by side, our view may become panoramic, encompassing more and more of this most intriguing picture. We may even gain an inch or two forward.
Who knows where these pages will take me (us?). Will the elusive concept of assurance join in?  I can be sure of one thing: the adventure is worth exploring.
And so it goes...