Love the Sinner, Hate the Sin???

 

 

I feel conflicted.

This will be the most difficult blog post I have ever written in one sense. In another, it will be easy. Easy because I believe it will boil down to one word.

 

The reason it is hard to write is actually twofold: First, I have so many thoughts colliding and fighting to get out of my mind and heart that I feel almost frantic. I hope and pray the end result of this writing will be cohesive and respectful.

Second, I am selfishly scared of the backlash or rejection this post may bring from people whom I care about very deeply. With that said, I feel I must have the courage to carry on for the sake of others.

 

So,

 

I have been hearing a lot of Bill 13 – the new anti-bullying legislature that is being put in place. I promise you, this will not turn into a political debate.

I will tell you why it bothers me to hear some of the comments by Christian people about the subject of LGBTTIQ people, in the context of the bill, and just in my general life’s journey.

 

Many Christians believe the Bible to say that homosexuality is sin.

{I will interject at this point, the fact that many Christians interpreted the Bible as saying that Slavery was right and contributed to that horrific mindset quite adamantly.}

Whether it is sin or not, (I will not get into the debate over whether our sexual orientation is a choice or we are born into it, although I think the answer is not so clear cut as some may think). is really not the point. The point, I believe, is how we behave towards others regardless of our belief system.

 In my world, the two biggest arguments against homosexuality are these: that being homosexual is destroying families. (Really? Are heterosexuals not doing a fabulous job of that themselves? Including Christian heterosexuals?  Families are crumbling all around us, the children paying the highest price. I don’t think sexual orientation is the problem.) The other reason is that it is “unnatural, or not God-intended.  Children with distended bellies starving in a world with enough money and food for all, is neither “natural” nor I’m sure, “God-intended” either. It is ironic to me that many of the people taking a stand against LGBTTIQ people seemingly do nothing to help the poor. Maybe talking about feeding the poor is too clichéd of an example. If so...too bad. People are dying.

You may be thinking, Well, Susie, neither homosexuality nor children starving is natural or God-intended.  We should be doing something about both. Well if taking a stand is your goal, why is it your goal? What is your motive? Is it to build up or tear down? Because attacking one issue helps and the other hurts. As to the one that hurts...with what benefit? Your comfort? Alleviating your fear? Being right? It certainly isn’t changing anyone’s mind on their sexual orientation or making them feel valued and accepted.

 As for anti-bullying...I simply can’t disagree with the mindset to protect, regardless of a religious stance. I just can’t get behind something that could potentially allow for a teenage boy’s hidden tears behind bedroom walls due to rejection and threat, or a girl cutting her arms up with a razorblade, blood dripping like tears onto the floor in order to deflect the pain of intolerance and hatred, or the Amanda Todds and Josh Pachecos who actually kill themselves, feeling defeated, desperate and hopeless due to such devastating behavior directed at them.

But let’s say, hypothetically, that I agreed with the attitude that those who fit into the LGBTTIQ way of life are wrong, or are making a moral choice. Here’s where I get really tripped up:

                        “Love the sinner, Hate the sin.”

 That is a phrase I’ve heard time and time again when this topic comes up. My question is this: As a believer in a loving God, how do I possibly aim hate at someone’s identity? And whether you agree that sexual orientation is part of a person’s identity or not, those who feel the hate sure do.  If you were to be unaccepted, get verbally attacked, or worse, for being heterosexual, would you not feel a wound or at the very least, indignation deep within you? I just don’t think you can so clearly separate the “sin” from the person.

 And will you let fear drive you to judge others who are just living their lives in their legitimately personal way?

You may say it has nothing to do with fear. I would challenge you to really think about that. Perhaps you are not fearful that you will get some disease if you touch a homosexual (a ridiculous example, I know), but are you perhaps fearful if it becomes “acceptable”, that your child may “become” one? Might it be fear of the concept of “different”? Or maybe it is a fear born out of your faith system being challenged. Could it be that you are afraid to be wrong? I really can’t figure out that if it is just a moral issue, why you might feel the need to fight against it so strongly. If you are adamant that homosexuality is wrong, then don’t be one. (As if it were that easy.)

 

I’ll be honest.

I have both lesbian friends and trans-gendering ones.

Know what I see when I look at them?

People.

People with heart, a soul and the deserved desire to be loved.

Period.

I want what’s best for them and the only way I can contribute to that is to accept them as they are.

 

And in case you are wondering what I actually think about homosexuality and alternative lifestyles, I just told you. It really doesn't matter. If you are hung up on that, you've totally missed my point.

 

The only thing I can see that matters is how we treat others - Gay. Straight. Black. White. Small. Tall. Smart. Mentally delayed. Whole. Broken.

 

I’ll  be honest...I have more questions about God now than I ever did. But one thing I do believe with all my heart is this: God is love.

Love.

 

Not to be applied “if they change”, or withheld with a “but I’m right”.

Just love.

 

After hearing a sermon including the topic of homosexuality as being wrong, the church congregation stood and sang together,

“Spirit of the living God fall fresh again
Come search our hearts and purify our lives
We need your perfect love we need your discipline
We're lost unless you guide us with your light”

                        - Starfield -Reign In Us

 

I wept with sadness, and with emotion choking my words, I could only pray them in my heart. 

Please guide us with your Light, God. Please help us to see people as you do. Not as right or wrong, but simply with a lens of unconditional love.

Love.

It’s what it all boils down to.

 

 

 

 

 

All for a Game?

My heart is sad.

My husband took me to an NHL hockey game two nights ago. The Jets, our team, were playing the Florida Panthers. The game went into overtime tied two-two and we scored with 15 seconds left on the clock. If you love hockey, it was a pretty exciting game to be at. The crowd was roaring with their cheers, pushing the Jets to their limits. The arena was a sea of blue jerseys, almost everyone representing. Even I was wearing the t-shirt.

For us, it was a date night. We had one and only one opportunity to go to a game this short season and Mr. Man really wanted to take me. Knowing I really don't care about hockey, he wanted me by his side while he watched a game he loves. We went out for Mongolian stirfry (my favourite!) before the game and made it to our seats five  minutes before the U.S. and Canadian national anthems.

Not much to be sad about right?

Directly before the anthems were sung, it was communicated over the speakers that two men who had been dedicated to Winnipeg's NHL hockey and had served it for decades, had recently passed away. The first - a couple of months ago and the second - just last week. We were asked to join in a moment of silence to show our respect for these men and their families.

The MTS Centre holds just over 15,000 people and the game was sold out. 14, 998 people stood in silence as a tear slipped down my cheeks. Yes, here is where the sadness comes in.

I was certainly sad for the loss of life, knowing their families are presently in the early stages of grief. That always hits home for me.

What made me even more sad was that two men within the crowd were more concerned with the Winnipeg/Florida game that was about to ensue, than showing respect to a grieving community. As 14, 998 people stood in utter silence, these two men yelled out as loud as they could, "Go Jets Go!!"

I don't know if the people in my life would call me an angry person, but this, this utter disrespect made me mad. The second and third emotions that overtook were disgust and pure dispair. I felt so troubled, not only did I shed more angry tears, but also felt a little sick to my stomach.

After the announcer thanked us for our silence and we sang "O Canada" {insert shame}, all I could think was this: is a hockey game really more important than the loss of an honourable life?

Please tell me no. Please.

At a break, I went up to the security woman for our section and asked if she knew the men who had passed away. She did. I expressed my sympathy and she then informed me that all the men's families were at this game in their honour.

Another tear.

The hockey game was a hockey game. A game. Can you hear me?!?! A game.

To those two men who shouted out for their team... Is 15 seconds too long to remember the impact these two men had on the game you love ?!? On their friends and families lives? 15 seconds!

Don said, "Well Sus, 14, 998 people stood silently for that moment. That's pretty good."
My response? Not good enough. If 14,998 people can stand silently when they are super pumped for their team, so can two more.

To the two families of the men who died, I'm so sorry.

Love hockey, don't love hockey. I don't care.

Just know this...
I, for one, will always pick life and death over a game.